Psychotherapist, Author and Relationship Expert

Affair Checklist

Is your spouse cheating on you? If you check three or more of the items below, he may be!

He uses secret passwords. (Does his phone, computer, and/or any email or social media account that you know of have a password you don’t know or he won’t share?)

He no longer wants you to see him at his office.

He doesn’t give you access to financial statements (bank accounts, credit cards, cell phone bills, etc.).

He doesn’t talk with you as much as he used to or he’s quieter than normal.

When you’re out together, he wants to take a different path from your normal route (he may either be trying to avoid running into her, or he may be checking up on her).

He’s undergone physical changes. (He’s taking more of an interest in his appearance: e.g., losing weight, dressing better, grooming better, coloring his hair, going to the gym, etc.)

He looks for reasons to leave the house.

He has started to find more faults in you (either to justify his affair or get in an argument with you so he has a reason to leave the house).

He’s not interested in having sex at all/as often.

He has changes in his schedule (leaving early in the morning, coming home late, “power lunches,” more business trips).

He’s more restless than normal (he could be anxious to see her and/or nervous he’s going to get caught).

He’s edgy and/or jumpy (leading a double life could be getting to him).

He takes his phone everywhere (he could be sneaking in texts!).

He comes home and doesn’t want dinner or is less hungry than normal (could be because he had a lunch date).

He’s changed his aftershave or cologne (she may have gifted him a bottle of her “favorite fragrance”).

He decides to do his own laundry (he may not want you to smell perfume or see makeup/lipstick on his clothes).

He’s less engaged, less happy to be at holiday events than he used to be.

He’s in a rush to get home when you’re with him (he may not want to upset her when she reads your Facebook status and sees you’re “enjoying a day at the beach with hubby”).

He has little changes in his habits (e.g., he showers before bed now when he didn’t before; he keeps his car extra clean, etc.).